2 days ago I got a horrible case of food poisoning, I was very sick and it left me drained. It was so bad “O” had to stay home from work yesterday. This morning he no choice, he had to go back to work and I had to take “K” to a neurology appointment. The morning started off rough, “K”‘s routine was messed up yesterday (she had a fieldtrip) and then this morning for the neurology appointment. She was very upset and none of the usual things worked to calm her down, she just needed to cry/scream it out. Unfortunately that means she screamed the entire hour and 20 minutes it took to get there. I am thankful that a friend of “O”s drove us there and was very understanding of both “K”s screams and mind jumbled and distracted speech.
Once we arrived “K” calmed down, her mom went this time and held her which helped, though every now and then she’d scream out. I don’t blame her, the office waiting room was crowded and hot, it was almost suffocating. I could hardly keep it together so I imagine it was a terrible assault on her already over stimulated system.
The new neurologist was very nice and straight to the point, just how I like them. He listened to what I had to say and didn’t dismiss a certain issue that pediatrician the dismissed. It is comforting not to hear “well, that’s normal with Autism”. NO! There are things that can accompany Autism but that doesn’t mean it’s NORMAL! That is something that has to change among providers, that mind set is one of the reasons it took over a year to get “K” a diagnosis and treatment for her seizures. She suffered for so long and regressed because of it, when I think of it I get very angry.
But I digressed…. so back to the original line of story. The waiting room was terrible and we had to wait almost 45 minutes to be seen, that stretched my already thin…what to call it? I see a lot Aspies refer to it as spoons, that doesn’t feel right for me (maybe because I don’t like spoons) but I haven’t figured out a name for it myself. Anyway, “K” got upset again as we were leaving the neurologist (I really really really need to remember to buy ear plugs on this next paycheck).
On the way back home, I asked the kindly friend to stop off at the store so I could get a money order for rent. I walked into the store an immediately knew this was going to an issue. I just felt wrong, I’m still somewhat out of sorts so I can’t describe it very well but it as like trying to see underwater.
I walked to the cashier and took out the cash and debit card. I looked down at the money, “O” had told me it was $80, I could see it wasn’t $80. It was three $20’s and two $5’s. It should have been simple, I’ve cashiered before, for several years in fact, this should have been as easy as breathing… but it wasn’t. I just stared down at the money and almost cried. I ended up just handing the money to the cashier, she it turned out was very sweet. She looked at me for a moment and then said “Ok, so we’re doing $70 in cash and the rest on debit?” She then counted it for me twice, slowly. I thanked her, paid and walked out. I know it’s not the worst thing to happen but it shook me up.
A Thousand Signs 